Remember a long time ago, back when I was in knight school? The giants and orcs were a feared foe that would frequently threaten our town, and I wanted every advantage I could get with them. I thought that reasoning with the might be enough to bring them from their ways of savagery into a more civilized environment. To appeal to their sense of pride, I wanted to be able to do this in their native language, giant. Years were spent learning how to speak and write in their language.
Many of the townsfolk knew other languages: elven, draconic, goblin, and kobold among others. Kobold, now that’s a language no one would ever need to know. Who would ever get anything useful from a kobold? They wait for ambushes, set traps, and just plain play dirty. Beyond that, and I haven’t yet even begun to describe their smell to you.
Why then, was I so scared of them this morning. We spent hours trying to come up with plans to divide and conquer their. We thought their sheer numbers would be enough to overrun us. If there really is a dragon in there, I can just picture him laughing. “Hahaha, look at the weak adventuring party cowering in the face of my three foot tall kobolds.”
Eventually, we decided to quit being babies and just brought the fight to their front door. We stood at the edge of the clearing and started pelting them with our artillery (I mean Ulric). Liat, of course, ran out in front to go hit things. The rest of the team supported as we made our way through the guards, and then through a second wave of reinforcements.
Honestly, our biggest threat was D’nalia. If I was to try to describe her, I’d say she’s got a good heart, but is a little chaotic on the inside. I know it’s impossible for such a combination to exist, but she’s somehow an amalgam of both. In the end, I’m still glad she’s on our side. While the splash damage of stray acid arrows really hurts, a well placed fireball hurts more.
Appendix A: Our Brilliant Plan: 1) Get bait Ulric went hunting for some kobold bait. After a couple hours, he caught a rabbit. Since kobolds will eat anything, the rabbit would serve as a tasty piece of meat for the kobolds to eat.
2) Set bait Kobolds will definitely go to the rabbit, but where to next? Without any real trap building time, or skills, we could use the bait as a lure. We wanted to set it on the trail at the edge of the clearing where the scouting would see it.
3) Use bait to lure kobolds No traps mean we have to create a location of tactical advantage. In other words, let’s bring the kobolds to us. The only place of tactical advantage was a few minutes back on the trail; we needed a moving lure.
4) Run Take the fastest runner, and tie a rope to their waist. The other end of the rope is tied to the rabbit. As the kobolds come near, drag the rabbit towards the battleground. They’ll follow you all the way there. Once there, the whole party will be ready for battle. Right guys? Right guys?
5) Fight Without any way to get more reinforcements, and with a tactical advantage, the kobolds will be easy targets.
5) Loot the bodies The little three foot bodies.
6) Repeat with the next set of kobold guards. Since we think it will work so well the first time, there’s no reason the exact same plan won’t work 327 additional times and clean out the entire kobold lair.